Growing Up

    On the verge of graduating college, I've noticed a few things that make me feel like I've grown up a little. For starters, eating feta cheese makes me feel like an adult. Purposefully taking off shirts right side out so that you don't have to unfold them to fold them when doing laundry. Putting dirty dishes directly in the dishwasher instead of waiting for a pile to build up. Refilling the Brita pitcher before putting it back in the fridge if it doesn't have enough for another glass left in it. Finding a dentist that our insurance covers and making my own appointments and going without my parents. That was a personal accomplishment that I will always be proud of.
    The more I thought about these things, the more I began to realize how they were all similar. They all have to do with looking ahead into the future and planning/acting accordingly. Except for maybe eating feta cheese, that's just about eating grown up cheese. Growing up means planning ahead and not letting the future surprise you too much. There will always be things and situations that come up that won't be a part of our plan, but if everything else is in its place, we don't have to worry about the things that are life's jack in the boxes.
    So maybe that's where I sit, on the precipice of future unknown in the big bad real world. Sure I have what I would say are my plans, but will they be able to stack up against what life will shock me with? Will I always have my ducks in a row? How do I know that everything is in its place? What's the timeline for getting things into place?
    That's where God comes in. My plans aren't what's going to prevail in the long run. Only what God plans will be successful and that's what I need to place my trust in. He already knows what's going to happen and won't be caught off guard by anything that happens to me. I don't have to worry because He knows and He is in control. These few little things that I've noticed in my life (probably) aren't going to change my life forever. But something else could, and when that happens, God will be my Rock that I can cling to because He has caused it for good and for His glory. This is a future that I can get on board with.

I Voted

Today is the day that marks the first time I have been able to vote in a presidential election, and the first time I have voted ever in my life. I feel like I am now a part of history, coming after a long line of people who have had to fight to have their voice heard. So many people have had their opinions ignored and shrugged off or even intentionally pushed away. But today I waltzed up there, didn't even really have to wait in line, filled out my ballot and just like that, my opinion mattered. We should never forget those who went before us and fought for what they believed in so that their future could have the things that we mostly take for granted these days. I still remember being in the fourth grade and staying up until what I felt was late at night waiting for the final decision in the Bush/Gore race. And now, how ever many years later, I was a real part of this, and as insignificant as one vote may seem, it really did matter. I could continue with more patriotic feelings and gushings about America, but I think it speaks for itself. The land of the free and the home of the brave.

St. Elmo's Fire

I signed up for a month free of Netflix and today I've been working on chipping away at the movies I haven't seen and actually wanted to that are on there. And I have two days left, which has me asking myself, why did I wait this long? Granted I could just pay the eight dollars or whatever, but soon school is going to start back and I don't need that distraction too. Or maybe I do and I'll just end up signing back up later. But the real reason for this post is that one of the movies that made the list tonight was St. Elmo's Fire. I wasn't alive when it came out, but I loved it so much. At this point in my life it really connected with me, you know about to be out in the "real" world and all. I don't want to fill this post with how all the little things probably relate to something that has a lot of meaning to me. I also don't want to get all sappy and sad about only having a year of college left, there's plenty of time for that later (or is there?), but it does make me excited about the new things that all of us will experience as we move forward with our lives. We won't be as close geographically as the characters in the movie, but I hope we stay in touch. I also loved it for the simple fact that I just love how 80's it is, and how good the acting is, and the story. I just feel like they don't make many movies like that anymore. It was easy to see how it has become a classic for the decade. Hopefully tomorrow's choices will bring just as much satisfaction.

The Dark Knight Rises

Movies have the power to draw people in and speak on personal levels without actually experiencing anything. I may be with a hundred million other people on this, but the Dark Knight trilogy does this in my life. With so much actual pain now surrounding the movies, reality intensifies what is portrayed on the screen. And what we see on the screen is beyond what words can describe because its more of an emotional experience. There is a connection with the characters through seeing/feeling what they have experienced then adding that to what we feel in real life as we relate those experiences to what we see in our world.
Words are not enough to say how much thought and effort were put into the making of these films. It truly is an experience. I'd never really been a fan of superheroes or comics when Batman Begins came out. I hadn't seen any of the previous Batman movies, I just went to see it because it was something to do. The movie made me a fan instantly. When The Dark Knight came out, there was already tragedy in knowing that it would be the last time Heath Ledger would be on screen, but the movie went far and beyond what anyone expected. And now we have the last installment and the culmination of an epic story that will last for many years to come.
How could anything match up to what The Dark Knight had already done? The thing about a good movie is that it's story never ends. TDKR brings everything full circle and makes all three movies become one story. There is no question that the end to this story is perfect, and lacks nothing. Everything has an answer. My tiny insignificant hat is off to the writers, to Christopher Nolan, to the actors, actresses, and crew members. There are so many magnificently talented people that have worked on these movies and the proof is in the pudding. I haven't been able to think about anything else since I left the theater. All I can think about is how great everything was portrayed, the actors' performances, the film score, the CGI, how everything just seemed absolutely perfect. With no knowledge of the comic books, I have nothing to base it off of, but I think that's what makes it so amazing. I'm glad to be able to say that I was able to personally experience all of the movies, and will always be a fan of this re-telling of a classic story. I could keep going on and on, but I'd rather leave it up to the movies to show how truly amazing they really are.

Mr. Heckles: Gone to Soon?

I'm a big Friends fan, anyone who knows me knows this. If you've been a fan of the show, you know who Mr. Heckles is. The old guy that lives downstairs, wears a brown bathrobe, claims other people's things as his own, and uses a broom to try and stifle the pitter patter of footsteps from the "noisy girls upstairs". Let's just think about how genius his name is in the first place. Mr. Heckles. His life seems to heckle his neighbors and get under their skin even when he has nothing to really gain from it. He heckles for the sake of heckling.

In the episode where he dies, they believe that his last act of revenge was leaving all of his junk to Monica and Rachel. Nowadays Mr. Heckles would be considered a hoarder, and let's be honest, how did they not see that coming? The man lived in a bathrobe, where else would he be going? Obviously no to work or out on a date. The thing about the episode though, as they look through more of his stuff they begin to see more of who he was. Reading an old yearbook, Chandler finds out that they were both nominated class clown, and then finds more parallels between their lives. He's a little disturbed to find these similarities and then tries to get back with Janice (Oh My God!), but he makes the connection with the crazy man that lived downstairs.

My question is was Mr. Heckles gone too soon? What could we have learned from him if he had made it to a few more episodes? What were his stories behind all the crap he left behind in his apartment? What drove him to live a life that maybe his name predestined him to? I'd like to think about the people in my life that might be a Mr. Heckles. I don't know anyone that hoards to that extent or who seems to only own one bathrobe. But who are the people that I know that I'm passing by because they seem a little out there or strange or slightly annoying? Everyone has a story that's worth listening to, and that's all they'll really leave behind. Maybe Mr. Heckles story lies in the yearbook or the awful seashell lamp Rachel claimed, but now we'll never know. If only that broom or the walls of his apartment could talk, we could see into the life of a human being that the world was beginning to forget about.

That's what I take from this, that no matter what, people are people, and they all deserve a chance to have their story heard. We can learn from other's mistakes if we are only willing to listen to what they have to say. Outward appearance may play a part in whose story you want to hear, but who knows? You may find a kindred spirit in the crazy man that lives downstairs if you take the time to get to know him.

Radical

Today was a day that in the future I may not remember all the details of, but I will remember that what I am doing then was partly because of what I have done and decided today. I read the book Radical by David Platt. I feel kind of behind on this, I've had the book for a while, and honestly have been putting off reading it. I was afraid of it. Of what it would make me think and challenge me to do. I was detrimentally content with life as it was. But this book was exactly what I needed. It opened my eyes to what God wants from me. When you think you already know everything you need to know about something, that's the beginning of the end of you moving forward in whatever that subject may be. I thought I had things figured out for the most part. I didn't and don't claim to be perfect, but now even more I know that I am in need of the Lord to control my life and where He wants be to take it. The book revealed how often I think of me, and how big of a problem that is. My life and the reason I have it is to bring glory to God by showing others what He has done for me. Which is where I sit right now. There are many things I need to pray about and ask forgiveness for, but I'm moving forward and God is the focus. More on this in days to come.

Expectations

I've been having a lot of thoughts lately about the future and what it holds for me. I ask God for guidance because His ways are not mine, and I need direction. Even if I don't do what I had planned, it doesn't really matter to me because I know that that isn't what I was intended to do in the first place. When I know that my life is in God's hands, that's when I'm perfectly at peace because I know things will work out. It may not always be the best or most secure or pleasant situation, but it will be God's plan and that is worth living for and working through. Expectations are just that. They don't really amount to anything. They may be on point, but most often they're a little skewed. So when expectations don't turn out, take it as a fact of life and move past it to what is actually happening. Reality is living in the moment and living for a higher purpose than just a job or a career. It is living for the One who created your life in way that you will be proud to present it back to Him one day with as little regret as possible. My life isn't for me anyway, so why do I worry so much? God has given me exactly what I need at exactly the right time. And in more ways than one. So I will be thankful and take each day as it is until I come to the realization of what I'm actually supposed to be doing.